Sight Beyond the Surface

The Shift…

I found myself wrestling with some issues of the soul. Initially, I didn’t understand the source of internal heaviness. I just knew something was wrong. I vividly recalled people in my past I’d been rejected by (or perceived myself as being rejected by). Memories of several severed relationships seemed to assimilate, lingering among my mental faculties, like careless guests long- outlasting their welcome. I thought about those experiences of rejection, some from people I deeply respected and loved. Others, I value much more in retrospect.

As questions filled my heart, I sensed the Lord encouraging me to process through what was being revealed, rather than shut it down or “change the channel”. It was time to address a particular defect in my character – a major maladjustment that overtly contradicts what I should believe about myself as a Christian.

Why did I continue to grieve the outcome of these relationships? I missed some them – the comradery, collaboration, even just doing life together. Several names contributed to my life immensely. But surely I had become accustomed to that fact that all things are for a season… A slant emotional examination enabled me to detect the culprit – the fleeting affirmations I received while sharing time with each person I thought of.

What became clear to me was a pattern of thinking I’d developed and harbored over decades: a strategic complexity that only made sense through the overlapping lenses of self-preservation and relational desire. Internally, I sought after the validation of others, outwardly keeping my guard up and life locked, anticipating the tactic would protect my affection and preserve the rapport (even if it was but a skin-deep association).

In practice, I became warped by the fear of rejection, countering the ambition and opportunity for meaningful connections. Approval was shallow and short lived, proving to be a dead-end street on the journey of discovering personal value. Indeed, hope deferred makes the heart sick.

Proverbs 29:25 The fear of man brings a snare,
But whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe.

Proverbs 13:12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.

I wondered about the openings to bond with others I’ve forsaken, due to the preconceived notion of dismissal… How many relationships have I neglected to invest in as a result of the dismay, clouding about the possibly being discarded? 

These were old wounds with left over repercussions. Review with the Holy One helps to heal.

Perhaps you’ve experienced or recognize in your own tendencies, similar or same psychological and behavioral circuitry.

What I’m proposing (with deep conviction) may not help certain individuals initially. Apprehension of the following discovery may require some further withering of deviated optimism. For others, this may bring you tremendous relief because you have no false pretense left to chase after, and nothing worthwhile to give. You’ve been stripped, laid bare, and disarmed. You’ve come to the end of yourself and therefore, raising the white flag seems like the best (or only) option.

The conclusion of processing the vague anguish found in the recesses of my soul:

All our striving for acceptance has been in vain.

ONLY JESUS IS ACCEPTABLE.

The Father of all creation receives, accepts and loves individual people as His own for one reason: Jesus… period.

He died for us. He shed His blood for us. He became sin and bore the punishment for our rebellion, so we could receive His righteousness. It is acquired by faith in Him alone.

2 Corinthians 5:21 For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

We must understand, we cannot experience the measure of His righteousness He desires for us, while hanging on to what we perceive as our own moral worth. Paul calls that matter “garbage”… it’s trash in comparison to Christ.

Nothing you possess – no virtuous aptitude or extension of generosity… no measure of intelligence, talent, charm, beauty, or empathy… no stellar reputation, or quality of commercial production… no house, car, cash, achievement or social contribution… no nothing – apart from our union with Christ is worth redeeming in the eyes of the LORD. Only upon realizing this will we understand what it means to be free –  

Philippians 3:8 Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ

Free from concern of what others think and If they like or love us. Liberated from regret of all the things we’ve never accomplished. Unshackled from the shame of disappointing the people most precious to us.

Free to place our lives on the altar, so the Savior can live His through us… when we abandon who we think we should be, and place our lives in the Hands of our Maker – on the basis of what Jesus Christ did for us, God’s power will supersede meeting our expectations of being someone significant, because it’s Christ in us, the hope of God’s glory.

Romans 12:1-2 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Ephesians 3:20-21 Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Relief is the result of resignation. We are not our own. The earth is the Lord’s and all the inhabitants thereof. If you have let go of your life and received the Son of God as your Savior, remember the price paid for your redemption.

Romans 10:4 For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to everyone who believes.

Thank God, this affair called life is really all about the One – Jesus only.

Colossians 1:15-18 He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist. And He is the head of the body, the church, who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in all things He may have the preeminence.